productivity increased 100%

I got up really early. I was going to go back to sleep and somehow I did not. I got up and I think I did dishes or something around 7:45 AM. Then I was going to read a little but I thought I'd sleep then. So I opened my book and snuggled under the covers but J. called and then after we got off the phone that problem I've had really started to bug me. The problem with how my bedroom could be on an episode of Hoarders. The problem I have is with how if you get out of bed on any given side on any given day you might stub your toe or break your bones or get blinded by some projection from some pile of art or a crochet hook or a shoe rack that may or may not be firmly affixed to the door. The shoe rack is obviously not my problem, because if they sell shoe racks with that much space, obviously they should make them to hold that many shoes. So it's not exactly my overloading tendencies that broke that thing.

So I turned on the TV and started thinking about the job I had imagined and how I imagined I would do it. In my mind, as I explained in my last post, I could visualize cleaning out the corner of my room with the biggest accumulation of mystery crap. I think, to consider myself a worthy person, I have to have a time limit on the junk piles. It is okay if I keep a mess for some time but not eternally. This might be the difference between me and the hoarders. I'm eventually going to get sick of my pile of whatever and do something about it, even if that only means I put it somewhere else in a different format.

Do you realize it gets light outside before five o'clock ante meridiem? Like, because during my cleanup efforts one of my zillion year twisty "green" super lightbulbs shorted out, or died, or whatever, I opened up my windowshades, and now I have to deal with the eventuality that it's gonna be light out again in under four hours. I mean, the official word out there is sunrise at 5:49 a.m. but don't believe what you see on the Internet.

In other news I have not been to the store in so long I'm officially reduced to using this: 

In case you missed my facebook post all about it, this is my ball of toilet paper. Someboy brought it into my room while I was fast asleep, like 5-ish in the morning, because we can't just stay in bed now when the sun is up so bright and early now can we? Noooo, we have to get up and experiment. And learn things. Like how many waffles will fit in that toaster? And how can we get to the cardboard roll in the middle of all that toilet paper?

I'm really not sure what his plan was, but later I found the giant family size Eggo Waffle box down on the floor beside the refrigerator, totally emptied of all food items and instead it contained not one but three cardboard tubes. One of which was for paper towels. Which, sort of annoys me, more than the toilet paper he trucked into my bedroom. Like, what happened to the paper towels? Hopefully we just ran out. I mean obviously we ran out because I had to dig around in the pantry for some more and all I found were ones with cheezy lighthouses. I hate patterned paper towels. So you know I didn't buy them. Maybe the boys picked them out. But it wasn't me. Incidentally if you let the Eggo Waffle thaw, and then toast it, I think the result is far superior to if you throw them in the toaster still frozen. I only learned that because of course, those wacky kids, they leave the waffles out on the table for long enough so they thaw, between when they get up and forage for breakfast and when I wake up to hear the toaster ding and know it's time to get up. Well really our youngest age around here now is nearly-nine-going-on-45. So it isn't as if I worry much about them doing anything. I've had it fairly well child proofed since conception. But I do like to patrol a little and make sure the milk makes it back in the fridge before noon.

I ended up making a yarn-ball.  Before then I do remember hearing a strange noise coming down the hallway towards my room, an odd-swish noise made by a whole roll of toilet tissue that's been freed of it's bonds. Not the cheapo kind I get for the kids to use too much of either, because even if they use twice as much, they aren't going to clog up the toilet with it, nooo, it was the good kind that J. buys, Cottonelle, you know with the puppy? Yeah I get the WalMart variety of Cottonelle but it's not quite the same, and he gets the nice stuff if he notices I'm out. Anyway I heard it coming, and half awake was thinking, "now what is that noise?" and I popped open one eye and saw him carrying a large white mass proudly towards me and quick shut my eye again but not before he saw me. He knew I was awake then and proceeded to ask what he should do with enough toilet paper to wrap up the Yeti. But somehow while I was telling him to leave it there in my room, we got our signals crossed because then he turned and sprinted back down the hall with it. Mind you, he's ten. "What's a ten year old doing unrolling all the toilet paper?" you may be asking yourself. Yep. So am I.