the same 5 lbs over and over again

It is now week 6. Not week six in the lifetime quest to lose weight, just week six in a three month experiment. And what I did was, I lost 5 lbs. and then gained them back again. Those are five of the 10 lbs I lost last time in much the same way, only I haven't re-lost the second five. I just lost that first five again. I am wondering if it's the Sugar Free Coffee-Mate. It's a trick. It appears to cost nothing but if you drink a lot of it, it all adds up. One TableSpoon! = Nothing. Anything more than that at the same time, it adds up!

Where is my miracle cure? Where is the fix?
I found a website called The Fat Nutritionist. I'm reading it but there is something that makes me uncomfortable with admitting I'm fat. For example, my body image: in my head, and when I'm looking at myself from a certain angle, I'm just fine and could lose a little weight. When looking at other angles I feel more disappointed because, well, really, my sense of design kicks in and frankly there are things about myself that don't fit my idea of what I look like.

So yeah, less creamer.

I went to lunch with some friends. None of us are perfect fashion plate glamour-puss candidates. I thought I looked pretty chic today. I wore my turquoise teardrop earrings and turquoise crystal beaded flip flops, with a charcoal colored sheer-ish top I found on clearance at Target and some white crop pants my sister Beth gave me last month while I was visiting. I came home after eating a big mistake, Applebee's garlic mashed potatoes... bad bad idea. I looked them up. They're bad. So I did a Leslie Sansone video "3 Fast Miles" which took 45 minutes. I am setting up a challenge to do at least 2 miles each day. 2 if I end up walking outside, I think I can get 2 miles in by walking my usual pace for 20 min. out and 20 min. back. My knees are taking turns feeling like they are going to break off at the inner hinge, I am thinking 2 miles might be good for days they really rebel. Tomorrow I work, which wow, I work at a health club. So tomorrow before work I am thinking I might either do 3 miles again here at home, or I could check out an elliptical machine at work. I'm not 100% sure. If I get to bed on time tonight, I shouldn't be so tired in the morning and probably I can get my exercise goal accomplished early.
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My friend M. who is helping me get the little dog into shape medically through her animal rescue invited me over last night so I headed over there.

I woke up with a cat on my head and a splitting headache. It wasn't like a hangover, I was drinking lots of water, right? Anyway I sat around this morning till about noon feeling more and more nauseated, when I realized I needed to get myself ready for work at 2. I high-tailed it a few blocks to J's where I was given clean clothes, a shower, scrambled eggs, Aleve, and found reassurance that life is indeed very very good. 

Okay time to get my 2 miles in. The power is back on at my house and so that means the AC is running. Woo hoo.