melodrama

Even as I try somewhat unsuccessfully be a wonderful mom and pet helper and generally all around good friend, I went to the effort of having the little dog neutered so he would behave better, not hump, or start growling at her neurotic mutant pomeranian or lift his leg on my friend's furniture, whathaveyou.

If you didn't already see on my Facebook Status, I was delighted at the chance to get my ex-husband's ex-dog balls chopped off.

Except the little creep can't seem to quit licking himself and licked his dissolvable sutures out of the top layer of skin on his gross shriveled little former jewels. He had been at my house since the deed was done, and he was doing absolutely fine. Finally last night after recuperating since Tuesday, I brought him over to my friend's house because they were leaving this morning. And all the rush to get this neuteration done and have the dissolving sutures was because she kept after me because she was going to bring him down to Texas where probably he would live the rest of his life at her dad's house disguised as a Shih Tzu. (He's half Chihuahua and half Lhasa Apso and she swears up and down he's a Shih Tzu.)

So. She had him last night and was going to bring him to Texas with her this morning, then somehow she talked to some neighbors who actually wanted to take care of him while she was gone, and she thought it would be better to have her neighbors take care of him and somehow she thinks those neighbors are going to keep him forever or something but anyway, the plans changed.

My plans for today were to have a birthday party for my 9 year old.

My friend called me this morning, woah way too early, and said she was bringing his little ass back to me and leaving for Texas. I should have known I couldn't get rid of him that easy.  She said now I have to take him to the vet Monday because he has a hole in his little self, he wouldn't eat his plate of eggs, he hasn't pooped. She delivered him back to me with instructions to medicate him with some other dog's antibiotic and pain medication, because of course she is a dog expert just  shy of being a vet I guess and she knows he is not only infected but in horrible horrible pain. So if the real vet says he is fine, he can go back to these neighbors who may or may not want to keep him forever? Sigh.

Frankly I do not see the problem because he has not bled all over the place even once, and his bowels are not dragging the ground. This indicates to me that somewhere inside his body, he's fine. Also he is a pale whiteish pink dog and nothing about his rosy little piggy self indicates any type of infection in that area, at least not to me, a woman who had three babies zipped right out of my midsection and was forced to walk around and shower and function fully the very next day. I think he's fine. He ate some actual dog food. He does not seem to go for people food, at least at my house. He pooped. He is fine.

I also think I am being punished for my bad-karma inducing glee at emasculating his 'nads in effigy. So I made him a cone of shame out of a green and red handprint thingy one of the kids' grade school teachers made with colorful paper and a laminating machine.

Behold the "Before" picture:

And yes that's my miserable attempt at a hair-do. Poor guy this is how he looked the night he first arrived from the tiny cage of captivity at the kids' dad's house. He used to look this terrible and I think this is after his bath. I have bathed him a lot. His hair doesn't look right without a bath. He's also gained a pound or two and now weighs 9.2 lbs.