Today my friend and I began sanding the thirty or so chairs she has amassed in her bid to take over the world of chair planters. Somehow she saw a chair planter. The chair has a hole cut out of the seat, and the only purpose for the chair then is for a plant to sit on its lap. She thought since I can do anything, she should put me to work making chair planters.
She claims that she will serve as the manual labor and I will be the artist. She said that's the other way around from when we worked together and she was the boss and I was the manual labor. She actually said that today in a shoppity shop I frequent in town, called Viva, (from which J. has been buying almost every present he ever gets me - he keeps those women in business.) I was a tad bit on the mortified side. But I don't think she can help it. She starts talking, you know, and this stuff falls out her mouth. Somepeople would be offended, but whatever. Not about me, this urge to inform people she used to be my boss.
Anyway today I had a great day, first I woke up and J. had texted me from Calif. - yay - because I am starting to miss him and his vacation taking self. Geesh.
I had no desire to go there with him, even if I had been invited, which I wasn't. I would go again if we were going to spend most of the time just together and maybe a fourth of the time with his motorcycle friends. Or maybe if I had another personality.
When we went, it was a complete surprise for me. He had been in Baghdad Iraq for-effing-ever, and so he got back and we went on this surprise trip. Amazing and beautiful the first two days. I mean we saw a concert the night we arrived, and Napa was outstanding and amazing and fun, and then suddenly his motorcycle club consumed the rest of his time and I ended up spending one day watching them change my seat on his bike to the most uncomfortable -wide- cushion thus ruining it for my pelvic bones for eternity... (I liked the little skinny seat, people! I'd rather ride on the fender than that thing they put on!) ... then standing in front of a bar on fisherman's wharf wondering why, (god oh god I sound ungrateful) and then having a really wonderful dinner (and I do mean it was a truly wonderful dinner and they were all very gracious hosts) at someone's house I didn't know and can't remember, and I know I'm sure I would have gotten along with them had they not first asked me if we were moving out there? and then after I was totally and obviously taken off guard and said no probably a little strangely, but I promise it was only my achey back and pelvis talking, and maybe a headache ...I swear... and, if anyone had talked to me for the rest of the night, I'm sure I would have had a great time.
But I'm shy. I swear I am the strangest shy person. I can talk to strangers all day at work but apparently if they all know eachother and live in California and "know" my boyfriend (even though I see him all the time and there's no way they know him as well as I do!), I'm bizarrely awkward. It's also remotely possible they didn't like me. Or something. I am not for everyone. Or possibly I was intimidated by their californianess. That state is on a whole different planet from Louisiana, and Iowa's not even on their map of the universe. But something was wrong with the situation between me and the biker club men's women. I thought the men were great, but their wives were tense. Gracious. But tense. My sense was something else was going on that had nothing to do with me, and therefore I am doomed to seem ungrateful because I just don't enjoy that kind of situation.
And I'm sure had I not also been insanely jet lagged and hung over the entire trip and still convinced I should still go to bed on Iowa time instead of California time, maybe I would not have spent the last day laying despondently on the couch expecting him to come back in time to go sight seeing in San Francisco, and probably I would not come off as so incredibly ungrateful now.
I mean, honestly, the first night we went to the best music place and had a great time and then I puked in the Mel's Diner restroom and denied it completely when his sister knocked on the door to see if I was okay, although it was probably pretty obvious because I came out and only had chicken soup broth and white toast. Lucky for me I'm convinced nobody really cares about anything but what immediately interests them, and I'm very sure I'm not it, so I wasn't too worried about that.
The next morning I got dressed and walked outside to a surprise gigantic disco limo and we were whisked magically away to the Emerald City a.k.a. Napa and everything was practically perfect in every way.
I think I wasn't used to having him back yet. That's why I seem so ungrateful, there was this strange undercurrent still of "woah, you've been gone a long time and now you act a little different and I'm not used to you yet" which is nobody's fault. And also one of "woah you've been gone a long time and I totally and absolutely want you all to myself if at all possible." and it wasn't. But I'm still that way. I still since the night we met, all I want is to spend as much time as humanly possible in his general vicinity. Sit on my couch, mister, and eat popcorn and watch TV and I will be happy.
Ugh. I'm so imperfect. I'm just not that totally cool non-demanding everything's okay with me it's all just fine girlfriend. I have expectations sometimes. Ugh. And I'm totally leaving out the fact that I was up till three night before last because I took that stupid Claritin and got all anxiety ridden and sleepless and weepy. Geesh... do I avoid snot or do I avoid anxiety?
Yesterday we bought all kinds of paint and things to do these chairs with, and I walked around in a soggy sleepy fog.
So. Last night I finally did sleep because I was so tired from walking all over three or four hardware superstores and Target.
Then after this morning I woke up and got his text, and I think either I called W. or she called me, and something else... oh did a little laundry, got dressed or something I don't remember, then drove over to her house.
Today we found all her craft stuff that we could use, and the mouse-sander thingy, and then we went outside and I started to experiment to figure out what would work. I found a chair, sanded off the shiny stuff, played around with some spray wood stains and a little outdoor table, inhaled too much spray paint fumes, (I'm extra sensitive!) did some more sanding, chatted with her neighbors, blah blah blah, decided the chair needs to be subtle colors and dragon-fly details, and it started to rain. So decided to go eat someplace we could have a beer, and we put everything away.
Went on our way with the intent to eat & have a beer, but then as we drove by I decided we could eat at one of my favorite places, just assuming he was open because the door was open and people were inside. So we stopped first at the gifty shop I mentioned above, and were spellbound by all the fun stuff inside, and talked to the lady that runs the shop for a long time. We talked about all the stuff we were making and all about going to market and wholesale stuff and blah blah blah. Then the guy that owns the coffee shop place we were going to eat nextdoor stopped in and I asked him how late he was open. But he wasn't really open, he was stopping in to get a breather from the graduation party that had rented his shop for their celebration. But he did run nextdoor and get me some dandy sandwiches in brown bags. I love that guy!
After that we stopped by the cheap theater and discovered "He's Just Not That Into You" is playing - in keeping with our long standing tradition of seeing chick flicks together, we decided to go. Tomorrow we're taking the kids to "Hotel for Dogs" for mothers' day. Our movie didn't start for an hour so we stopped at Perkins for an ice-cream brownie. We enjoyed the movie, pleasantly surprised! Bride Wars sucked by the way. But this one was good.
On our way back up the elevator to our floor of the parking garage, these two kids and a young woman came into the elevator waiting area with us. Then as the doors opened, the young woman said "We're going to steal in this elevator with you guys, because they just take so fuckin' long to get up here!" - W. and I didn't say anything, but as they got in the elevator with us, the young woman then said very loudly to the other girl with her, "I think you're trying to squish me and my baby!" (there were only five of us on the elevator, it wasn't that crowded!)
So we got off at our floor and started walking to her car and I said, "Geesh, was she drunk AND pregnant? She was so loud! Does she not realize elevators aren't the same thing as cabs? They're meant to be public transportation." By then we were both laughing and W. said she was thinking the same thing. Then I remarked that she should also watch her mouth because her baby would hear her dropping the F-bomb. And W. said she was thinking the same thing about that too... so by then we were laughing pretty hard and decided we don't actually need beer, we were already laughing too much as it was.
Then she drove me back to her house, I got in my van and came home. The end.
She claims that she will serve as the manual labor and I will be the artist. She said that's the other way around from when we worked together and she was the boss and I was the manual labor. She actually said that today in a shoppity shop I frequent in town, called Viva, (from which J. has been buying almost every present he ever gets me - he keeps those women in business.) I was a tad bit on the mortified side. But I don't think she can help it. She starts talking, you know, and this stuff falls out her mouth. Somepeople would be offended, but whatever. Not about me, this urge to inform people she used to be my boss.
Anyway today I had a great day, first I woke up and J. had texted me from Calif. - yay - because I am starting to miss him and his vacation taking self. Geesh.
I had no desire to go there with him, even if I had been invited, which I wasn't. I would go again if we were going to spend most of the time just together and maybe a fourth of the time with his motorcycle friends. Or maybe if I had another personality.
When we went, it was a complete surprise for me. He had been in Baghdad Iraq for-effing-ever, and so he got back and we went on this surprise trip. Amazing and beautiful the first two days. I mean we saw a concert the night we arrived, and Napa was outstanding and amazing and fun, and then suddenly his motorcycle club consumed the rest of his time and I ended up spending one day watching them change my seat on his bike to the most uncomfortable -wide- cushion thus ruining it for my pelvic bones for eternity... (I liked the little skinny seat, people! I'd rather ride on the fender than that thing they put on!) ... then standing in front of a bar on fisherman's wharf wondering why, (god oh god I sound ungrateful) and then having a really wonderful dinner (and I do mean it was a truly wonderful dinner and they were all very gracious hosts) at someone's house I didn't know and can't remember, and I know I'm sure I would have gotten along with them had they not first asked me if we were moving out there? and then after I was totally and obviously taken off guard and said no probably a little strangely, but I promise it was only my achey back and pelvis talking, and maybe a headache ...I swear... and, if anyone had talked to me for the rest of the night, I'm sure I would have had a great time.
But I'm shy. I swear I am the strangest shy person. I can talk to strangers all day at work but apparently if they all know eachother and live in California and "know" my boyfriend (even though I see him all the time and there's no way they know him as well as I do!), I'm bizarrely awkward. It's also remotely possible they didn't like me. Or something. I am not for everyone. Or possibly I was intimidated by their californianess. That state is on a whole different planet from Louisiana, and Iowa's not even on their map of the universe. But something was wrong with the situation between me and the biker club men's women. I thought the men were great, but their wives were tense. Gracious. But tense. My sense was something else was going on that had nothing to do with me, and therefore I am doomed to seem ungrateful because I just don't enjoy that kind of situation.
And I'm sure had I not also been insanely jet lagged and hung over the entire trip and still convinced I should still go to bed on Iowa time instead of California time, maybe I would not have spent the last day laying despondently on the couch expecting him to come back in time to go sight seeing in San Francisco, and probably I would not come off as so incredibly ungrateful now.
I mean, honestly, the first night we went to the best music place and had a great time and then I puked in the Mel's Diner restroom and denied it completely when his sister knocked on the door to see if I was okay, although it was probably pretty obvious because I came out and only had chicken soup broth and white toast. Lucky for me I'm convinced nobody really cares about anything but what immediately interests them, and I'm very sure I'm not it, so I wasn't too worried about that.
The next morning I got dressed and walked outside to a surprise gigantic disco limo and we were whisked magically away to the Emerald City a.k.a. Napa and everything was practically perfect in every way.
I think I wasn't used to having him back yet. That's why I seem so ungrateful, there was this strange undercurrent still of "woah, you've been gone a long time and now you act a little different and I'm not used to you yet" which is nobody's fault. And also one of "woah you've been gone a long time and I totally and absolutely want you all to myself if at all possible." and it wasn't. But I'm still that way. I still since the night we met, all I want is to spend as much time as humanly possible in his general vicinity. Sit on my couch, mister, and eat popcorn and watch TV and I will be happy.
Ugh. I'm so imperfect. I'm just not that totally cool non-demanding everything's okay with me it's all just fine girlfriend. I have expectations sometimes. Ugh. And I'm totally leaving out the fact that I was up till three night before last because I took that stupid Claritin and got all anxiety ridden and sleepless and weepy. Geesh... do I avoid snot or do I avoid anxiety?
Yesterday we bought all kinds of paint and things to do these chairs with, and I walked around in a soggy sleepy fog.
So. Last night I finally did sleep because I was so tired from walking all over three or four hardware superstores and Target.
Then after this morning I woke up and got his text, and I think either I called W. or she called me, and something else... oh did a little laundry, got dressed or something I don't remember, then drove over to her house.
Today we found all her craft stuff that we could use, and the mouse-sander thingy, and then we went outside and I started to experiment to figure out what would work. I found a chair, sanded off the shiny stuff, played around with some spray wood stains and a little outdoor table, inhaled too much spray paint fumes, (I'm extra sensitive!) did some more sanding, chatted with her neighbors, blah blah blah, decided the chair needs to be subtle colors and dragon-fly details, and it started to rain. So decided to go eat someplace we could have a beer, and we put everything away.
Went on our way with the intent to eat & have a beer, but then as we drove by I decided we could eat at one of my favorite places, just assuming he was open because the door was open and people were inside. So we stopped first at the gifty shop I mentioned above, and were spellbound by all the fun stuff inside, and talked to the lady that runs the shop for a long time. We talked about all the stuff we were making and all about going to market and wholesale stuff and blah blah blah. Then the guy that owns the coffee shop place we were going to eat nextdoor stopped in and I asked him how late he was open. But he wasn't really open, he was stopping in to get a breather from the graduation party that had rented his shop for their celebration. But he did run nextdoor and get me some dandy sandwiches in brown bags. I love that guy!
After that we stopped by the cheap theater and discovered "He's Just Not That Into You" is playing - in keeping with our long standing tradition of seeing chick flicks together, we decided to go. Tomorrow we're taking the kids to "Hotel for Dogs" for mothers' day. Our movie didn't start for an hour so we stopped at Perkins for an ice-cream brownie. We enjoyed the movie, pleasantly surprised! Bride Wars sucked by the way. But this one was good.
On our way back up the elevator to our floor of the parking garage, these two kids and a young woman came into the elevator waiting area with us. Then as the doors opened, the young woman said "We're going to steal in this elevator with you guys, because they just take so fuckin' long to get up here!" - W. and I didn't say anything, but as they got in the elevator with us, the young woman then said very loudly to the other girl with her, "I think you're trying to squish me and my baby!" (there were only five of us on the elevator, it wasn't that crowded!)
So we got off at our floor and started walking to her car and I said, "Geesh, was she drunk AND pregnant? She was so loud! Does she not realize elevators aren't the same thing as cabs? They're meant to be public transportation." By then we were both laughing and W. said she was thinking the same thing. Then I remarked that she should also watch her mouth because her baby would hear her dropping the F-bomb. And W. said she was thinking the same thing about that too... so by then we were laughing pretty hard and decided we don't actually need beer, we were already laughing too much as it was.
Then she drove me back to her house, I got in my van and came home. The end.
1 comment:
yep that was the email! i love it!
love your new header pic and love the drunk pregnant lady haha.
HMD!
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