Bizarro World

I showed up for my job this morning, which I was pretty excited to do considering my stupid mistake yesterday of fully well knowing the day was Wednesday and not showing up for a pre-arranged job yesterday which I fully well believed was actually supposed to be Friday. Today was a half day of vocal music. Then someone else showed up also for my job. The woman who arrived was dressed head to toe in black and pumpkins Quacker Factory outfit and acted very different, not like most people. We both clocked in as several phone calls were made and I was sent down with her to the music room, which was uncomfortable because she got there first and commandeered the desk and all the lesson plans and such.

I clicked "accept" for the job as of Last Freakin' Night but somehow there had been a mistake and she was the one the music teacher called? I don't know. That's what she told me, she told me she's special. Then some other lady on the cell phone came in the music room and said sorry Quacker's been signed up since the 21st for this. Except if she were signed up for the whole day, why was I signed up for the morning?

I went back to the office. I really did want her to leave, I was in the system for the job and I need the $50. I casually mentioned I brought my kids to Beyond the Bell. As in, I had to pay someone else an entire week of Beyond the Bell to watch my kids for 30 minutes because no, they really can't be trusted to stick around for 30 minutes in the cold outside the school. I didn't say all that but that's what I was thinking when I mentioned the Beyond the Bell part. Then I did what seemed like the graceful thing to do, I offered to sweep or dust. Because I was kidding around. The administrator made a call and talked on the phone for a long time. There was not an agreement on whether I should stay or go. She went downstairs and tried to get Quacker to leave and let me have my job, but Quacker had already gotten all the lesson plans and stuff.

By then I decided since school had already started, I had no time to prepare. Quacker was in there already teaching my children, I should probably just go home. The administrator came out and gave me a choice to take "Shirley's" job, and go in other classrooms to also teach music. I got the impression Shirley was still there. It felt strange. Out on a limb. Unsure of how to proceed. Very weird to be somewhere, with the opportunity to make some money randomly taken away from you, and then, oh, Shirley says you can do her job today. Anyway, I left. I told the administrator I couldn't do a good job with no time to prepare. I think they're paying me for a 1/4 day for showing up and looking pathetic. As I sort of crawled away, my spirit hovered above my body, looking down upon myself from the acoustical tile and fluorescent fixtures…wandered around blindly soul-less for a few seconds till a kindly person showed me the way to the door. Sorry ma’am. No zombies allowed.

Home. Which is where I am now. My new corduroys fit strange.

Later the same day: I went to J's and figured out how to glaze windows. First one scrapes all the old glazing off. This is harder than it looks. I used a putty knife and a razor blade and eventually J. brought me a heat gun and I got the process. J's neighbor is a professional window washer and he came over to see how I was doing. He looked at me and said "Do you know your worth?" which struck me as a charming thing to say. He says professional people get $0.50 an inch to do what I was doing. I think I have 10 windows left.

I also spilled the coffee J. brought me before I even got a sip.  

Even later still: My ex-husband strikes me as consistently irrational. His behavior gives me a psychosomatic reaction. I will never ever understand.

Making dinner: I started to make dinner and the coffee flavored Guiness style craft beer I opened which smells like soy sauce and syrup somehow spilled between the cabinet and the dryer. (Yes there is a clothes dryer in my kitchen, don't ask.) Is there a "kick me" sign on my shirt?

Weird things happened the day before, too. What is going on?