bucket

Why are they called bucket lists? you keep the suggestions in a bucket? you throw some pennies in a bucket so later you'll have enough money to go?
I want to go back to San Francisco with J. (like alone together) and actually see the city.
I want to go back to Pleasant Lake in Minnesota Wisconsin with J. and actually enjoy myself, and we could go see that football game again or something too, except if I re-live it, I don't want to have a majorly important paper due or anything like that. 
I want to see somewhere far away, like another country only I can't decide. Someplace with nice bones and good architecture.
I want to see some really important museums.
I want something that is a nonsecret but can't be said too public, but involves one boy in college and two others with me but I'm not sure where because really where is the perfect place not too hot not too cold.
I don't really want to be embalmed because my body can't possibly decompose fast enough. Those coffins with the holes in the bottom, can we get just a plain one and really why bother just put me in the ground under some crocus and muscari bulbs, they are the nicest little things.
I want people to understand how perfectly empty the mind becomes once we realize the teensy percentage of actual annoyance there is to life.  Life is just now. now or now or now but the future isn't real and neither is the past anymore, it's just a photograph now.
I want to read more books and listen less to the horrible news.
I want people to realize how meaningless it is to be angry over things they want that other people have. If someone has something, well at least you know where it is. You can see it, go visit it.
What is the point to having anything to yourself?
That's why I love libraries.