done

the fastest 1.5 years of my life just ended, my final final before student teaching was today and I didn't even fail it. The last minute appeal to Facebook friends and relatives with a lick o sense to figure out how many points I could miss and still pass the class... yeah that was just a ploy to trick my freaking brain into falling peacefully to sleep. I knew I wasn't going to fail that test. But I also couldn't organize the thoughts, papers, notes, questions, etc. ... or the pages and pages of notes. So I did the logical thing and figured out a way to give up. Really. If you don't know most of what's on a comprehensive test by now, probably staying up an extra hour is not going to help matters. Is it?

Last night/Today I woke up at about 3AM, because I heard a voice. Probably it was my talker. That one boy talks in his sleep. And curses.

Drops F bombs. In his sleep. Seriously.

But I don't care. Well I care. But what can I do about it? He's asleep. I only rule over half his life. The other half who knows what stress and traumatic ridiculous angry grownups he deals with, claiming to love him? Who knows. I don't. I'm not even allowed to talk about it, because it stresses him out. So I let him know, he is the most wonderful boy in the world. But if I even get a little upset with him, for, oh, I dunno, taking off his clothes and jumping in the shower ten minutes before we need to walk out the door for school. Sitting on his brothers head till he cries? Standing fully clothed in his socks and "cleaning" the tub? Cutting a computer cord? Stapling papers into the wall of his bedroom? Pissing off that poor patient cat to no end? Standing in the hallway staring into space (Hello, you really need to put on some socks! "Well I CANT FIND A COOL SHIRT!) Sinking his teeth into pears and then putting them back where he found them? Cutting his own bangs at the age of NINE? (Five minutes after I painstakingly clippered his hair into a masterpiece of coolness!) Finding some random keys and locking himself out of the apartment - "I had to try them!!" ... because I asked him to go grab me a highlighter I knew was in the desk, which was where he found these random keys?

Oh, so if I get annoyed with that, any of that, "You totally hate me!"

Sigh. This is my child. The over reactor. Yeah baby I can totally relate. I was the door slammer. I was the screamer. Really. I loved a good fight. Which is why I get you. I get you to the bone, sweet child, which is why as soon as we are done fighting we are hugging and you are kissing my hands.

Oh. What was I saying. Oh yeah. I'm done with school till January. Also my sweetie will be home soon-ish. Like, then too. And I start student teaching. So excited/dreading/worried/freaking out because I will need to park those boys somewhere for a few hours between when I need to be somewhere and they need to be somewhere.