ooh My eyebrows need some work.
I'm waiting for the background check to come through so I can be a substitute teacher. Because right now there are no real jobs out there for people with my particular qualifications. Or should I say lack of qualifications? I feel there is some irony there. I think I already had a background check so I could be a student teacher. I mean really. They didn't check me already? Somebody? My friend-in-same-boat Jessica says maybe they have to check that we haven't beaten/killed anyone over the summer. Meanwhile I am having a lovely day now. I did not have to go help paint. I was proud of my work while I was helping though. I did a nice job of helping and more-or-less learned how to do the faux finish. Finally.
This morning I woke up, brought boys to school & a meds check-up at the pediatrician, got home and somebody wonderful was here vacuuming the floors for me. Then we each went to lunch but not with each other. I met my friend Maggie at Olive Garden and he met his nephew at Taco Bell or something (ick). I have been playing on Facebook this afternoon and found a support group for parents with children with ADHD.
I have a rant. A little venting I need to do. I have been so beside myself with frustration regarding The Middle Child. Oh gracious. My 10 year old son is absolutely awesome and wonderful and I love that boy. I treasure every odd thought he might have, and every single freckle on his beautiful face. But his behavior! He is so much like me, and altogether frustrating. No adults in my world seem to understand what it is like to have to sit in the bathroom with and remind a 10 year old to wash his hair, how to do the next step in the shower, to actually put the toothpaste on the toothbrush instead of just running the water for 5 minutes and watching it run over the toothbrush and down the drain. Every single day. Nobody seems to understand about how stuck he gets. If he can't find the socks he'll spend 10 min. in the morning just doing nothing, because he can't find the socks, it doesn't click that he could be putting on the pants or something else! And since nobody else I know really has this particular variety of wildcatboy, it is hard for me not to feel a bit emotional once in a while about the situations we find ourselves in. As in, Oh Holy Baby Jesus, Why Am I A Failure As A Mother?
Why do jellyfish hafta be that way?
My reality! Constant supervision is necessary at this point in my son's life. It seems like it's been better in the past, but it also might be that at the time I had less attention to spend on him. Meaning, in the past few years I have been in school getting my teaching certificate, so maybe I did not notice as much? I'm not sure. Maybe he hasn't had a good shower in the past two years? I doubt that, because seriously I have a really good nose and I rarely smell him. Anyway I'm doing better lately so it seems like he's doing worse but now I'm noticing? Or maybe he really is doing worse. Who would know?
There is the other matter of, left up to my own devices, I too would behave exactly like him. I spent untold hours in the tub, reading, doing nothing, soaking, re-running the hot water when my bath got cold, I can't believe I didn't drown, because I don't think anyone ever made me get out, I just got bored eventually. Lucky for me we had three bathrooms. I spent my childhood nights with the light on, laser focused on reading, which was the only thing I was truly interested in aside from horses. I spent semesters stuck, not getting my homework done, believing that my teacher told me that for homework tonight we should do such-and-such, and since she actually said "tonight," I'm quoting her, and it isn't dark out yet, therefore it is not night, therefore I should not be done with my homework yet, I will start when it gets dark out.
I have spent years training myself how to not be like that. Or brainwashing. Or something. I have spent large amounts of energy studying other people, how they act, things they do, and developing a sense of pride, not innate to my initial character, in the fine laundry I do. I have spent time with a timer, 15 minutes at a time, re-directing myself non-stop to develop the ability to just do one thing, and do it well, before I go on to the next. The fact that if I really drink a lot of coffee I can focus long enough to get my entire apartment cleaned is helpful to keep in mind. Eventually I learned to harness the feeling of focusing, to keep in mind the way my brain acts when I am doing something I really like, and to bring that up in my vision for how I want to live my whole life. It isn't easy!
I mean it. Everybody seems to have a potential solution, and yes I am grateful for suggestions, because I think yes, I know, every child is like that some of the time, but holymoly there would be nothing so incredible as having one other person just go "yeah we're like that too. all the time. constantly." So I joined some support groups. This is the opposite of other kids. "Some of the time" for us is like once in a while we'll have a "good day" where everybody just gets up and does what they're supposed to do a little bit, with maybe only getting stuck with a little thing.
One thing I do well is managing their weight maintenance. I only have the guys half the time, and have absolutely no control over where they go, what they do/eat when they are not home, but hopefully having me half the time can help them maintain their healthy habits while they are elsewhere. I was talking about this with our pediatrician today. The Dr. charts their growth over the years. When they first began taking meds I was freaked out over how skinny they were! Over the past 5 years my boys are consistently growing, although they are only in the 50-75th percentile on the growth charts, they are healthy. The meds we are on take away their appetite. There is a placebo effect, they think they "aren't hungry" as soon as they swallow the pill, even though it's not dissolved. Breakfast should be a really good breakfast, not just a sugary/high-carb cereal. Good means oatmeal made with milk, fruit & a little butter, or fruit/cereal/milk, or an egg with a little sausage. Breakfast must be eaten before they take their meds, or within about 20 minutes. I check with the boys to be sure they are trying to eat their lunch at school. Dinner needs to be a good dinner, protein/veg/carb. I do not buy pop/soda at my house (although sometimes they do slip one by me) simply because there is no point in allowing them to fill up on worthless sugar calories when they could be eating some fruit or a bowl of cereal or something good. I have insisted on staying with meds that wear off around 5 PM, which also helps them get to sleep better. In the interest of maintaining their weight I put up with the extra work needed to constantly supervise them during the evening while they are non-medicated. Even if they are super hungry at night, we do talk about portion size awareness, because eventually they will be adults and need to regulate their own food intake.
In other news Mr. C. designed a spaceship. I think that one guy near the center is peeing on the guy beneath him. Urination seems to be a common theme around here.
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