I just brought the assorted children to their assorted destinations. I resolved this morning, when I got in the shower, to be more methodical and be a better example to the kids, as far as losing my temper. I decided to be less impulsive and yell less and basically try to be a better example, did I say that already? I mean it twice. A better better example example. But this is not so easy. In my mind, the various things they do pile up and frankly right now I could kick and scream and throw things I'm so frustrated. However, also in my mind is the thought that I'm too nice and that's why they try to get away with so much crap. This is compounded by my thoughts about work where I am constantly told I am too nice. In my experience, people will work extra hard for negative attention by being extra rotten! So nothing makes sense. I'm constantly in doubt.
Except they don't really get away with it at my house. I still talk to them, yell at them, warn them, put them in time outs, except they still do stupid things. So in the shower, as I was saying, I made the decision to have a talk (instead of a yell) with them about the brand new bottle of shampoo which is now only 3/4 full. And the pink streaks of the shampoo which are always dripping down the walls of the shower and shower curtain. (What does he do in there? Disco with the cap open?) (That is totally my Facebook status right now.)
My solution, I hate this solution because I have done this before. A year later I don't feel like it should still be going on, (!) is to sit in the damned bathroom while he takes a shower and dispense the stupid shampoo myself. At least that way he stays on task. I thought he was doing better, but 1/4 bottle of shampoo can't be wrong.
Oh and then, while I was at it, I told them quit fighting. They've been just whining and bugging eachother and pissing and moaning about every little thing the other one does (this is the smaller two I'm talking about, the big one just is so adult about it all. Really my only complaint about him is he is growing bigger and eats everything and I have to remind him to do his chores... but he's so easy going, I just sometimes do them for him because he's so nice to have around.) How blessed that I can say that about my teenager?
Where was I? I did say, while making a speech which included visual aids about how much shampoo is optimal, by the way, I'm sick of listening to you people fight and from now on it's likely you will get no warning, this is your warning, it'll be a time out.
Of course, Biggie Smalls had to start something later so he was the one to go to time out. The most boring spot in my house, specially imagined by my sister, who found it by way of visualizing the entire apartment for the optimal time out conditions... I set the microwave. Then I thought, wait, I have a job for that boy. Was this the beginning of my mistake? I needed the hand sanitizer bottle out of the car so I could re-fill it. So I sent him down there. He came back. I didn't notice if he was jingling, it never crossed my mind. I refilled the sanitizer. Life went on as normal. Except soon it was time to go.
Time to go is another world entirely for this boy. "Oh wait, I gotta..." is his refrain. So today we needed to leave, finally, I had been saying that for a few minutes, lets go. So he had to find his shoes. He went back for a library book he has over due. No. I told you last night to get your things ready. "Well I'm just gonna have to pay for the book!" No, you had time last night to get ready to go this morning. This throws me for a loop. I have the procedure in place. Generally we have a great morning. But sometimes, wow. I reminded them last night to get ready.
So he stomped downstairs. I went down too, and opened my car door and noticed the disheveled door pocket, with some items on the floor boards, and remembered my quarters. A long time ago I went down town and needed quarters. A long time before that I had quarters stocked up in my overhead quarter dispensing slot (and dimes and nickels too!) And slightly before the first long time, but after I stocked up on quarters, someone got in my car and took all my money. I got a parking ticket because Someboy took all my money! So everybody felt bad about the parking ticket. They scavenged around the house and found all kinds of change and brought it to me to put in the overhead slots. Great! Except they disappeared again. Nobody knows and they were totally willing to be grounded, just nobody knew (remembered) when or who took the money. (I don't check it every day, I never go down town!) So I bought $10 in quarters. Awesome, right? And I hid them in the door slot under the sunblock, Febreeze, dry shampoo spray and bug repellent. And then this morning I sent him down (a reprieve from time out, obviously the wrong answer Mom.) to get my sanitizer. So I went to the car, and wow. I had been robbed. "I was robbed!" I said.
Then I made him hand over the quarters. I didn't scream and yell. I did discuss making better choices.
This has not been a great week for making awesome choices.
I learned he walked to the Pump N Pak before school when his dad dropped him off early. Then they asked for frozen yogurt. They got so much, next time for sure I will be doing the "self serve" for them. I was pretty upset when we got home and he dumped his portion of $17 worth of crappy yogurt in the dumpster. There's more, I just can't remember it.
Oh and they conned me into buying a fish. And a tiny aquarium.
I love the fish, but I can't help but wonder, seriously, what am I doing wrong? Usually I say no. This week, I say yes to things, and all hell breaks loose on top of that. Ya gotta say yes some of the time, right?
Which reminds me I should have given C. some money for field trip souvenirs. At least I remembered to pack a fun lunch for him. Do you know how many times the school secretary has called me and said "You have three minutes to get somebody's lunch here to the school before the bus leaves." Lets just say it's been more than once.
This is why sometimes I feel like a crappy mom.
2 comments:
Days of the Week Dixie Cups to ration his shower goods. I don't think sitting in the bathroom with a kid his age is the answer. You are not a crappy mom. I have to limit S. to 5 squares of TP. We're going through TP and hand soap around here like crazy...but at least everybody's crappin' in the big potty now.
John brought over some kind of shampoo bar soap, so I'm going to have him try that for a while. I do like the Dixie cup idea though. I can give him a squirt before he enters the shower, except the rest of us will need to remember to grab the stuff before we get in the shower, because the way he is, it absolutely can't be in there with him. Do "they" make combination lock shower safes? They should.
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