school daze

Wow school daze is almost a cliche? I'm exhausted. This was something like my second week of school. I have a sore throat, all my body parts hurt, I want nothing more than to lay down and sleep. So I'm watching Curious George with L&C and trying to stay awake till bed time.

School is great except I'm rather emotional this week. Was. I'm a little better now. I think it's partly just wow, it's a beautiful campus, the classes are small, I'm paying for it with money I don't have yet, life seems to be great. The introspective part of being a teacher is surprising. I never expected to feel so weepy and so I'm taken by surprise. The teachers I had varied in competency and personality.

So to be honest I feel like I had a really hard time in school. Failing an entire subject consistently for years and years takes a toll on my inner child's self esteem in ways I doubt anyone could have predicted, and none of the other brightly sparkling A's and B's in other subjects could have made up for the big fat Failure glaring at me from the report cards I brought home year after year after year.

So my emotional surprise last week was this: new knowledge of special education now is a shocker. How did the system fail me? I didn't fail school, school failed me. Complete disregard for the fact that I was failing math year after year after year. What's up with that? I know people here and there were trying to help me. Mr. Washington probably had a hand in getting an English teacher to stay in with me at recesses to practice my math in an English room, which made sort of sense... she likes to read. If she'd learn something in math, lets dangle books in front of her.

What was our English teacher's name in Springhill at Brown Middle. Probably this was 6th grade? Maybe 5th. She needs a hug. I'm sure I was annoying as all get out. Mr. Washington probably needs a hug too, my mother reports he talked to her about my me-ness. Even if I did spend hours on my knees in the hall outside the office writing lines using the radiator as a desk. What's up with that? What could I have ever done to deserve that? I must have been annoying. Or just naughty. Or just hopeless. Oh well. Builds character.

So here's the link to my new blog. http://wordpress.morningside.edu/rll003/